Whispers

Y'know that game, Chinese whispers? it's where all the players line up and the first person is given an often complicated phrase or sentence to pass on the next person. The players are only given one chance to pass the message on to the next person. no redo-s, no repeats. What happens then if miscommunication were to occur? the initial message would be distorted and mangled into something completely different. If this happens, then the game would be over and the team would lose.

why am i telling you this?
you may ask

You probably recall the tragic incident in our school last thursday evening. the memory of it still haunts us. it haunts me. it was totally unexpected. many of my curious friends made an effort to call or text me to ask about it- and frankly, i didn't blame them. after all, i am..was?.. captain of the archery club in our school. i was supposed to know all about it. and i did. sort of. i wasn't there when it happened. and because of that, i feel slightly guilty. i feel guilty for abandoning my duties. though i am(was???) stationed on Mondays. i'm not actually responsible for the Thursday class. but sometimes i attend both days. sometimes. often on thursdays, i help carry down the rock heavy equipment and set up. but after the archery competition last last month, i haven't been going on thursdays. Maybe stop by once or twice, but nothing more. Nonetheless, i feel guilty. Everyone tells me i'm not guilty of anything, really. But i can't help feeling a little bit responsible. just a little. though now i'm slightly less burdened.. thank you again, friends for the comfort. thank you again for the reassurance. i really appreciate it.

you must've forgotten about the chinese whispers thing...
sorry, i got caught up in that..
i beg pardon to continue.

Since the incident, there have been countless versions of the story. Some versions were very close to the truth. but others were utterly blown out of proportion. I shall not include any details in this post, but i guess you could ask me in school if you need anything confirmed. i'd hate to see these rumours spread when they're fake. Tell it the way it really happened. though if you aren't sure if it's true, if you heard it from somewhere, i wouldn't blame you for believing. heck, i would believe it too. I just think it right for all of us to know what really happened, just the way it happened. don't you think? which is why i am willing to share what i know. and i am reasonably sure what i know is true. reasonably sure. So feel free to ask =)

i visited poor Justin at the hospital on friday. He's doing really well and it warms my heart to see him smiling even in such a state. I was utterly on the verge of tears.

i decided to start with the oh! so cliche "you probably don't know me"
it's harder to say it in real life than in movies.
Justin gave me an understanding expression and mouthed "i know you". he nodded.

Mumbling and stuttering at him, i told him i was sorry. He replied with a comical confused look. I smiled. such a strong young child. I explained that i felt guilty for not being there, for not taking action, for being a somewhat lousy captain, for letting it happen, for being ignorant enough to find out only AFTER it happened.. for everything. Justin couldn't talk - obviously- so he whispered two words. two words that made my chest heave a slight sob. two words that made my nose and eyes prickle. two words that i desperately needed to hear.

Justin smiled weakly, nodded and whispered "it's okay"

In that instant, i felt my knees buckle beneath me. i took a small step backwards to steady myself. Nobody seemed to notice my huge attempt at masking my feelings. i certainly wasn't going to break down here. i'd do that later. later was good.

When i left the room, (i followed Nat Sim and her brother Oliver after school) we went to get drinks. i felt like a weight had been lifted. it was a refreshing feeling.

The corridor was flooded with fellow lodgians. We stick together. it was an inspiring sight.

i'm sorry i didn't get a chance to post earlier.
i have a "curfew"